I've spent my evening writing about my life over the last few years, all the shit my husband put me through and all the things I thought were normal until I wasn't living them anymore.
I constantly worry that anyone who knows anything of my life either thinks I'm going to fall apart any second or is only being my friend because they feel sorry for me. These things might be true, I guess I will never know.
I was writing things down because at 730 this evening my ex told me that he was fixed and he wanted more access to the kids which leaves me only one real option and that is to let the authorities decide. They might decide he's guilty of nothing and that my kids are safe with him and if they do I won't like it but at least it won't all be on my head any more.
So yes, I've spent my evening writing about my life, it does not make good reading but one day it will.
I think you're very brave to confront all these things, rather than hiding them away. It can't be easy because I imagine in some ways you may still feel that you are partly to blame, for not doing something about it sooner. (If not then please ignore this).
ReplyDeleteI would hope you would count me as a friend, and if that is the case then I am not here because I feel sorry for you, but because of the friendship you offer me.
And I would add that your thoughts (and others that you will be aware of) have certainly encouraged me to think things through myself.
I'll always think I should have done something sooner or better or something but I guess when I finally sort it all out that will lessen and time passes and makes stuff better doesn't it :-)
DeleteI am glad to have you as a friend, you have certainly been a great support to me and in some ways more importantly you have provided lots of things to laugh and smile about for which I am very grateful :-)
Thinking about life should be something people do more often, I think it would stop problems before they begin if we all thought a little more about life rather than just living it but there is a balance somewhere and I'm hoping we all find it really soon :-)
xx