birthday parties :-)

This weekend has been full of busy with Shorty's birthday party yesterday and then a trip out to her friends party today.  As of 1.56 pm on Wednesday Shorty is six years old, I'm wondering if she needs a change of name given she's really not short now and Tiny is going to need a promotion at some point, I'm not sure what's smaller that Tiny so I need to give the name thing some thought.

Anyway Shorty's birthday party was just family, my side of the family.  The ex's side came on Wednesday for an hour, I got that out of the way as quickly as I could and then I could get on with having fun with the kids and my family :-)

We had dinner of roast potatoes, fish fingers, vegy fingers, sausages, sprouts, carrots and sweetcorn because they are all Shorty's favourites and then they played out in the yard with the paddling pool and hose pipe.  I don't know why granddad agreed to supervise the waterfight after he got so wet during the one at Tiny's party but it seems he'll do anything to avoid the washing up and he didn't get quite so wet this time :-)

There was a treasure hunt to find party bags and at one point the kids all disappeared to play upstairs leaving the adults time for a rest and a chinwag so a very nice afternoon was had although by the time people went home at about 1030 I was pretty much ready to collapse into bed.  First guests arrived at 1, well actually first guest arrived at 1030am but without her help with the cooking and furniture moving we'd never have had any dinner so I don't count that as party time really, so it was a very long day for a someone who is now very used to being on her own with her children all day every day!

Today we went to Shorty's friends party and I felt really sorry for the guy who was there to 'entertain' the kids and for the birthday girl.  Some of the older kids really needed a good talking to about not ruining the magic at a little girls party :-(

Tiny held her own amongst the big kids and was very pleased to be allowed to go to the party even though it was a big kids party.  lets be honest most kids are big kids when you're only 2 ;-)

So Shorty is another year older and I have no idea where the time has gone but I do know that all three of us are a whole lot happier than we were when she turned five.

today has been amazing, first of many I hope :-)

We've had a stand off all week about tidying the kids bedroom, I'm finally fed up of them making a mess playing in a morning and me then spending my morning tidying up so I told them they had to do it.  Days ticked by and it wasn't done, they even tried to get the ex to do it when he was putting them to bed on Wednesday but his idea of tidy wasn't close to mine so that didn't help them much.

Last night I told them that if they wanted to go out today then when they woke up they needed to tidy up rather than make a mess, I can't say I went to bed all that hopeful but to my surprise when they woke me up this morning at about 7 they proudly declared that they'd tidied their room and to a very great level they had.  Proud mummy moment :-) 

I helped finish the tidying and took the opportunity to change the beds, they love new sheets so that was one reward for the tidying, and then we had a lovely leisurely breakfast.

Over the course of today Shorty wanted to go to visit a farm, Tiny wanted to have a picnic and I wanted to watch the cup final.  For once we achieved all three :-)

The farm was full of strange animals that you don't normally see on a farm, there were alpaca's, a tortoise, snowy owls and reindeer as well as geese, wallabies and some very angry chickens.  The highlight of Tiny's day, although not at the time it happened, was getting her bottom pecked by a chicken!! she hasn't stopped talking about it since.

There were two big play areas, one with a hamster run of tunnels and a windmill to play in and the other with swings and balance beams and a picnic area. 

By 1230 Shorty had been to see animals on the farm and Tiny had had her picnic and I was left to hope and pray they would be good to their word and let me watch the cup final.  I have to say that I didn't really hold out much hope BUT having had an early tea and having been promised supper and cartoons after the match they both sat and cuddled up to watch the match :-)

Tiny missed the goal because she fell asleep but Shorty jumped off the sofa in excitement when the ball went in. I'd been explaining to her all afternoon that Wigan really weren't going to win because Manchester City were so much higher in the league and she was overjoyed to see the little team win. I think that bodes well for a lifetime of supporting my team.

So yes today was an amazing day when all three of us got what we wanted and no one cried (except for when the chicken pecked Tiny of course) :-D

2012

At the start of 2012 I sat down and looked at my life and made some new year's resolutions, they were based on the knowledge I had of myself at that time so they were the general things, lose weight, get a job, take the kids on an adventure, you know the kind of thing.  I am please to say I have achieved almost none of them :-)

So I can't track everyone down and send cards for Christmas and lets be honest if a card from a random person arrived at your door you'd probably be rather freaked out by it so here is the best I can do.

Christmas time is here apparently

IT'S ONLY A MONTH UNTIL CHRISTMAS MUM, WE NEED TO WRITE LETTERS!

So that's what I woke up to this morning, Shorty shouted at the top of her voice while Tiny managed 'Time a get up mammy' at almost the same volume.

She is of course right and Christmas is very much on its way so we spent the morning making cards for Santa and writing letters asking him for presents.  Six things was all they were allowed, anything else they will just have to wait and see if Santa has them left over but now I have some idea of what they'd like.

Shorty wrote every word herself while tiny drew a nice picture around what I wrote for her but we had good and rather messy fun :-)

I was made to write a list, because how would Santa know what I would like if I didn't, but apparently its not ok to put Rupert Graves on the list I have to make do with a DVD of something he's in ;-)

HAPPY ONE MONTH UNTIL CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :-)

Furniture and Paint

I'm about to do some serious work on my house, I am being provided with a sum of money to make the house my own but I'm going to have to be rather careful with it if i want to do all the things I fancy so any advice on shops doing good deals on decorating stuff or good places to buy inexpensive but lovely furniture would be gratefully received :-)

I took Tiny to Homebase today, she loves running around the place looking at all the bright colours on the shelves and the pretty wallpapers, but today she had the remit of sitting on sofas and deciding if they were comfortable.  Sadly she doesn't have the greatest idea what comfort is and everything, including the cardboard box she sat on, was declared 'ver contabl mammy' I think I might need to have a bit of a rethink about my selection methods before I actually part with any cash ;-)

I have two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, kitchen and dining room to decorate and I know nothing about what looks good with what and there is no one here to tell me I've got it wrong so the place could look very interesting in a couple of months time!!

First things first though I need a roofer and apparently the north east of England is experiencing a construction boom because I can't find a roofer who can even fit in coming and quoting never mind actually doing the job!  I might buy some slates and get up there and fix it myself in the end ;-)

some days are writing days :-)

For weeks now writing anything has been like pulling teeth, every word was in doubt and every sentence took a day of re writes before I was not unhappy with it, a few times I have seriously thought about giving it up for a bit and my mum suggested that that might be the way to go when I was complaining about being stressed due to two challenge deadlines that I was struggling to even think about meeting but today is one of those days that makes it all worthwhile.

I have written almost 4000 words today and I really quite like a lot of them, I've also had a number of discussions with someone who is great at making me think about my characters as real human beings and that has really clarified the way the story is going I think.

 I should probably have been playing with Tiny or doing housework but the fact that I got words on paper that made me smile today is probably good for all of us :-)

A Funny day

My beautiful short people stayed in bed this morning until 730, which is considered a lie in at the minute so I woke up feeling like I'd actually been to bed :-) 

Granny took them shopping with her, Its strange that going shopping is a treat when Granny takes them and the worst thing in the world when I take them but a couple of hours with no kids and no housework to do because I'm in someone else's house was a great treat.  I spent the time writing and finishing an exchange fic so panic averted for now.

Football is Saturday afternoon's entertainment although it was more annoyance than entertainment today, the match will be remembered long into the season but only because of the most incompetent ref I've ever seen.

Its been a funny day but sleep and a real rest have made it quite a smiley one.

too tired, long day!

Today my soon to be ex husband finally came and removed his stuff from the house, its only taken him three and a half months to get around to it but its done now and shorty has plans for decorating and changing things and making this a nice girly household so the future is probably pink ;-)

To praise or not to praise?

An interesting discussion last night has had me wondering how you possibly bring up children and don’t screw them up somehow. 

Too much time with mum or too little time with mum

Too much independence or too little independence

Too much education or not enough

Too much praise, praise for the wrong things, or not enough praise of any form

Not enough encouragement of interest or so much that you are a ‘helicopter’ parent

The advantage of every day

The real advantage of trying to post every day is that it makes you think about things, I've spent months trying not to think about a lot of different things so its nice, in a way, to be pushed into it. Yesterday's thought was about where I should be living and it got lost in late night football but its kind of important so I'm going to write it down now.

I need to make a home for me, Shorty and Tiny that feels safe for all of us and in which I can actually sleep and I don't think its possible to do that in this house so I need to find a way to move.  The idea of moving house always excites me but the thought of doing it just me and the kids is also quite scary.  I know that I could very easily have thought about it and than stopped thinking about it so I booked some viewings and took myself off on my lonesome to have a look at what there is around. 

I've decided that I'm going to look for something that needs work so that I have something physical to do to make it our house and that I can afford resonably easily so they won't be in the best area or the biggest places but in the end it will be ours which is the important thing.

I've often wondered what makes a house a home and hopefully I am going to find out the secret in the next few months.

Look what I got.

My beautiful daughter bought me these today, apparently "someone should buy you flowers mummy because you like them" so she spent her money from the tooth fairy for losing her first tooth on flowers for me.  I bought her a toy and some sweets so she got a treat as well but how lucky am I to have a daughter like that?

Half term holidays are over now, school is back in the morning and I feel quite sad about it BUT it will be nice to have time to put fingers to keys in some purposeful way again not that my brain is playing fair at the minute or having any ideas but hopefully more time will give my brain a chance :-)

Trains, Football and friends (day 3 I'll give up soon I'm sure)

Tiny and Shorty spent their morning with Granddad playing with the largest train set in the world at a 'come and play' exhibition, the result is I now have to find a way of setting them up a train set at home because it is apparently the most fun EVER.  I used the time they were busy to do something I have never ever done before!  I find real people really hard to talk to, once I know people its not a problem but that first meeting normally scares the life out of me but today I met someone I have never met in person before and somehow it didn't feel at all weird or at all hard.  She was really lovely and I think meeting new people might be something I try and do more often :-)

The last few days have been a check-in, check-out routine with the little people really because I was back out for the afternoon, this time off to football to see Sean Dyche take charge of his first match at the Turf, If we play like we did every match I'll be smiling by the end of the season even if we are bobbing around mid table not really achieving anything because it was great fun to see the team look like they were having fun.

A good day of fun experiences, on to tomorrow and more fun I hope. :-)

Trip to Oxford (i will never manage everyday and no one will see it anyway)

6am- alarm goes off, quickly thumped and covered in the hope Tiny and Shorty aren't disturbed.

7am - the wonderful woman of mystery pulls up outside my house and whisk me away.

9.30 am - quick stop for breakfast and fuel

11 am - Oxford :-)

I've never been on a tour bus before but what better way to see the delights of Oxford than under the guidance of someone or something that knows the way around.


It was freezing but then that's what you get for sitting on the open deck of a bus in November





1.30 pm Magdalen College

 I have never seen anywhere like this before and I just couldn't resist going to have a look.  The change from the hussle and bussle of the street to the peace of the college was remarkable and the whole place was beautiful.

This is a beautiful sculpture we came across in the grounds

The sun dipping towards evening and some deer who happily live in the deer park in the college.


5 pm - Back in the car and off up the motorway

9pm - pre bed kiss and cuddle with Tiny and Shorty who think they've had as good a day as I have, they are of course wrong.

xx

half term starts here :-)

I love the last day of term, the kids are all smiling as they leave school, the teachers are waving them off as quickly as possible and the parents are looking like they have no idea what they're going to do with them for the next 'really long time' (one week and one day actually but to some it feels like forever) Up until about two weeks ago I had no idea what to do with mine either but I think I have enough planned to keep them busy.

This weekend we're having calm and sensible, they're with their dad on Saturday so I'll spring clean the house so there's not much needs doing all week, and on Sunday we're making a cuddly cat and probably a few more things. Monday is a trip to York with daddy to see trains apparently, that is going to be a really long day for them so I'm hoping Tuesday will be a short day for the three of us but hopefully involving their wet suits, some wellies and a trip to the beach, we won't even bother with coat if its raining, we're going to get very very wet and then come home and get warm again.

Wednesday will be a picnic and feeding horses half way between my house and my mum and dads because we're going to stay with them for a few days so that on Thursday I can escape on a very rare day out without them. (I should probably not claim that is rare when I'm off to London to see Mark Gatiss and friends on the 11th but these are the only two days in forever I've treated myself to time off :-) ) Granny is baking pumpkin biscuits and making Halloween masks with them on Thursday I think, I gave up fighting the 'I hate Halloween' battle years ago and just work on the basis I don't have to get involved!

Friday, if I'm not completely exhausted from my trip I'm thinking of taking them to a wildlife park but I have no idea where it is as yet so I may just end up taking them for a trip in the car or taking them to look at one of my favourite Dive sites, not that I'll be going diving any time soon :-(

Saturday I'll escape for a trip to see the claret and blue army and Sunday will be family lunch before I drive my little family home :-)

Until last week I thought they went back to school on the Monday but luckily someone pointed out the inset day so Monday will be spent shopping and tidying up ready for a return to sensibleness on Tuesday morning, that is if you call driving 220 miles and watching a football match between school pick up Tuesday and school drop off Wednesday sensible of course.

Can you tell I'm slightly excited to have my kids off for their holidays because I really really am :-)

misty!

So I'm all for the not sleeping normallly but wow for bad dreams tonight!! I know its been a long day and it was dark and misty when I got home but where did my kids being kidnapped out of the mist while I turned around to get the other out of the car come from? Or the huge bloke who was trying to drive off in my car? Or the many many people who weren't trying to help me find the kids? I hate my brain but I was happier when it just kept me awake rather than this :-( I think the darkness of winter could take its toll on my brain if its going to scare me like this :-(

single parenting

well it took a long time for it to finally happen but as of yesterday I am separated from my husband.  I should be sad I know I should and in some ways I am. I'm sad that the children won't be able to see both their parents anytime they want to.  I'm sad that the baby L wants so desperately is never now going to come and I'm sad that somehow the world looks at couples who separate and say they have failed.

I have two beautiful daughters who would not exist had I not married their dad, how can that be failure?

Mostly I feel relieved and that makes me sad, I never got married expecting it to end I thought it would be forever and was determined to work hard to make it that way but there comes a point when you stop being who you were, when your personality has been changed beyond recognition by the actions of your partner, when you no longer recognise the person you have become and that has to be the point when you take control of your life and fight for the person you have lost.

I asked him to leave before, more than once but he agreed to go once before and then changed his mind so I never really thought that I would be in this position, still in my own home with my children and hopefully one day a friendly relationship with their dad, I half expected to have to do a midnight flit or to refuse to return from a trip to see my family.

However hard the road ahead I am sure that I have made the right decision I might need one or two people around to hold my hand and wish me luck though.

xx

from tombliboos to fairies :-)

from this

to this

then this

And finally it looks like this

Tomorrow comes Fireman Sam but for today I am quite proud of myself and very happy with the smile I got from L when she saw it :-)

I can't believe her first year is nearly over

We received shorties foundation stage school report today and I couldn't be more proud of her, not everything is perfect, I wouldn't want it to be really, but her commitment and effort are not in question at all.  I small problem with inverting numbers and a reluctance to write things down when she can say them, draw them or build something to represent them are all they have come up with and they can both be dealt with in time :-)

I can't believe how quickly she's grown up or how many things she likes to be involved with but I hope I can continue to encourage her to try new things and learn about the many things she is capable of rather than focusing on one area like I did for so many years.

Proud mummy today :-)

gender discrimination is alive and well.

Today I went for an interview at a supposedly forward thinking academy, the recent great idea of what schools should be.  I worked hard at planning a lesson to teach and to write all the documents they asked me for, I spent hours preparing and booked nursery and childcare for the small people so I could attend at eight am this morning.  I was not late and I was prepared but I really shouldn't have bothered.

A meeting with the deputy department head where she said, I thought jokingly, that they were looking to recruit more men to the department because there were always too many of the women on maternity leave, should have told me something about the place especially because the eight strong short list was seven men and me.  Twenty minutes sat in the staffroom while four men complained around me, and discussed with other candidates, the problem of women and their constant baby talk and being distracted from their work by being kicked in the ribs should also have given me a clue but who thinks that schools of all places still discriminate against women? That just isn't what you expect.

The class enjoyed my lesson, they learnt something and they interacted with me, not much more you can ask for a twenty minute lesson with children you've never met before on a topic they have never seen before.  They must have enjoyed my lesson and someone must have thought it was good because they didn't cull me at the first hurdle (maybe I was still playing token woman?)  another half hour of abuse, sorry conversation around me, by the other candidates and members of staff including 'they can't possibly give you the job  now you've sat in the pregnancy chair!' before a meeting with the mentors,  this one went really well, jaw droppingly good reports from all my previous schools had them smiling and asking me if I'd done some teaching before the course because the reports of outstanding teaching and 'what would we have done without you?' were not what they were used to seeing, at least not from the schools I had worked in.

So the final cull before interview, down to three candidates and I was still one of them, strangely I thought this was a good sign and tried to put the comments of earlier in the day out of my mind because surely they wouldn't put me through a whole day if they were just going to employ two men to even up the numbers in the department. 

Final interviews were with the chair of governors, the head, head of department and NQT tutor,  only the chair spoke and he made reference to my children and my role as a mother in every question he asked,  all seven of them including  'It must be hard when you have been just a mummy for so long but try and remember what it was like to teach a class and describe a lesson you taught'.  Oh and 'I know it must be hard to think about children who are at risk when all you can think about are your own but what would you do to help them' (I have not been out of the classroom that long and I have been keeping up to date)

I answered every question without reaching across the desk to hit him (I thought about it but it would have been very unprofessional so I didn't) and I was very polite about everything even though it was a very uncomfortable situation to be in. 

The two men got the jobs!!

I was called in for feedback and told I was to 'mummyfied' in my reaction to questions and not professional enough in my answers.  I had not mentioned my children once but the chair had mentioned them about ten times. 

I hate to think that anyone in this day and age would really make the decision on a job based on Gender but sadly I can only conclude that this school did.  What a waste of my time!!